I have been having a lot of discussions lately about marriage and the transitions from being single to dating, to being in a relationship, to marriage.
I was reminded of the image of a tandem motorcycle team and the various positions acquired by the “co-pilot”, the person NOT in control of the gas and brake or steering…the person riding (?) in the sidecar.
You see, a single rider on a bike designed for racing, leans into turns and uses their body position to maximize the amount of tire that is in contact with the track.
The more tire you can keep gripping the track, the faster you can go. In racing this is a good thing. Single people, like solo riders, should understand their own limits; handling, speed, and the combination of the two.
When you enter into sidecar riding, the whole setup is different. Both parties need to understand this and adjust accordingly. Their common goal is to keep the cycle and sidecar going around the track as efficiently as possible.
How they do it is vastly different when there is a sidecar involved. Dating requires a different “setup” in that you have to be mindful of the other person and how things impact them.
The “co-pilot” (aka “the monkey”, but not in this article, lest I offend…) is a pretty good rider themselves, maybe even better as a solo entry than the pilot…BUT in order for the tandem to be the best, they bring their skill set to the sidecar. Be careful how deep a relationship you enter with a selfish, self-centered person.
As some relationships progress, traditional roles and responsibilities may have to take a side seat in order for the relationship to be at its best. This is different than simply dating, because it involves commitment and sacrifice.
Depending on which way the tandem cycle is heading, the co-pilot will be in a different position. On a straightaway, speed is maximized by better aerodynamics, so the co-pilot may be tucked in behind the driver, almost out of sight. This reduces drag and increases efficiency.
Sometimes in a relationship, one person must temporarily operate in the shadow of the other in order for the tandem to be most efficient. But tandem racing is NOT only done in a straight line, both right and left turns must be negotiated.
When turning to the right, the co-pilot will be on the pilot’s right, leaning as far into the turn as possible, appearing to be right beside the pilot working in unison to get the cycle through the turn. Sometimes couples must pull in the same direction at the same time to succeed.
Then there are the left turns, the ones where the co-pilot looks as if they are trying to get as far away from the pilot as possible…and you know what? They are! By leaning into the turn and fighting against the natural force that would turn the cycle over, the co-pilot allows the cycle to go around the turn quickly and safely.
Though it appears they are far apart, they are actually working together, and it is in the left turns, that the unity and teamwork is most important!
Sometimes one person looks like they are taking all the risk in order to keep the team progressing. It could be in prayer, or a leap of faith perhaps, as one follows hard after God ahead of their partner. Once the turn, or season of life, is complete, they will come back together and prepare for the next challenge.
Marriage is like sidecar racing. It takes two, working together to win or lose together. One job may look harder, but each is equally important…any communication issues should be worked out on the practice track, NOT during the race! They race one cycle with one number.
Racing (marriage) is NOT for novices, but skilled riders who understand and appreciate the value of their partner. They finish as a team, and both must cross the finish line in order to be counted…selah.
Everyday God... 