“Layup…” (by Mel McGuire)

While doing pre-marital counseling with young couples, I was reminded of a practice many sports teams use when they believe they are on the verge of winning a championship. They go out and find some “veteran leadership” to help get a talented young team to the next level, to that winning or championship level.

In basketball, I think of someone like Grant Hill. The veteran comes in and can still play, but not at the same level or with the same intensity as when they were younger. But they add wisdom and provide valuable insight for younger players about what to expect, and what it takes to win, and be a winner.

They demonstrate professionalism, and teach the younger more talented players things like how to practice, how to take care of their body, how to mentally prepare for each opponent, and how to deal with outside distractions.

It helps if the young players watch, listen, and learn. They give secrets and tips on how to be effective and productive even when they do not have their “A” game. They show them that defense, rebounding, making free throws, and even layups win games.

I mention layups because today’s young stars love to dunk. In fact many of them have been dunking for so long, they sometimes struggle with the layup. The layup becomes important when you have to score and cannot go over or through an opponent.

Now when Grant Hill came into the league, he was a very talented player with explosive leaping ability. He routinely dunked the ball. Years later, as age and injuries took their toll on his explosive leaping ability, he can still score inside, because he has mastered the layup.

While not as exciting or intimidating as the dunk, veterans know that each basket counts the same…two points. The advantage of the layup is that there is a better opportunity for a foul and potential three point play. Veterans know how to “play through contact” and make the layup.

Layups do not require as much leaping ability, but they do require more skill. We encourage our young couples to find some veteran leadership to help them prepare for what is coming in their lives as a couple. Experienced married couples that can teach them how to conduct themselves while dating and engaged, how to mentally prepare, how to take care of themselves (and each other), and how to deal with outside distractions.

People who can teach them how to “play through contact”, and be a winner in the game of life. Like the fundamental scoring play, the layup, experienced couples have learned that the grand gesture and elaborate displays only count the same as simple gestures, performed consistently and thoughtfully, or private displays performed with sincerity and spontaneity.

And while slam dunks are great if you can do them, mastering the layup will carry you further and provide longevity as a general rule. As time catches up to us, we must learn to do other things to keep our value and bring value to our relationships.

Patience, grace, forgiveness, humility, reliability, honesty, and love are all relationship fundamentals that should not be overlooked or neglected. Pay attention to the veterans on your team. If you don’t have any, get some. They know what it takes to win, and winning is more important to them than individual glory or stats. They are about “team”, and they have mastered the layup. Watch, listen, learn…work on your layups.

“Up front…” (by Mel McGuire)

When my daughter was heading towards her teenage years, she asked if she could move from the back seat of the car and start riding up front. She was legally qualified to make the move (and she had been for a couple of years), so we granted her request. But we did it because we felt she was ready, not simply because she met some general qualifications. It takes a certain maturity to ride…up front.

Once she got up there, she began to see driving from a different perspective, and consequently she asked a lot of questions and offered some unsolicited advice. When you ride up front, you see more of what actually goes into driving a vehicle, and you see more of what is going on around the vehicle. Getting from one place to the next is different when you are riding…up front.

From the back seat she had a limited perspective and world view. Most of what she saw was out the side window, as her view to the front was shielded by seats and parents. Once she began to ride up front, the backseat became a distant memory, or sometimes a place to store her baggage. She became much more aware of the numerous hazards of driving when she began to ride…up front.

When she sat in the back, communication could be a challenge, but once she came up front, she could talk to us face to face. This made for better and more intimate conversations. I must admit, that part I enjoyed about her riding…up front.

Oh how I long in my journey in Christ to ride up front. To see and know everything He is doing, to anticipate the hazards, to inquire why He chose to take me one way as opposed to another, to be close to Him, communicating with Him face to face. I just want to observe how He maneuvers through traffic, understand why He picks the lane I am in, and how He observes the rules of the road as He gets me safely to my destination.

But even in Christ, it takes a certain maturity to ride up front. We can’t bring our backseat perspective and expect it to serve us when we ride up front. No one likes a “backseat driver”, especially if they are sitting up front! We have to realize why it is so important to our safety to let the driver drive. He has the wheel, and is in control of the gear we are in, the accelerator, and the brakes. We really need to be able to sit back, stay out of his line of vision, and let him drive!

God has a plan for our lives. He knows how to get us to our destiny safely, while allowing us the privilege of watching Him as we enjoy the journey. Eventually we will get to ride up front, not because of some arbitrary qualification, but because He believes we are ready…to sit closer, to talk face to face, and to learn exactly how and why He does what He does. God wants us to know how to anticipate danger, how to maneuver through the traffic jams of life, and how to benefit the most from riding with Him…up front.